Saturday, January 30, 2010
refreshed
I just came back from the Illinois State Music Education All-State Conference and feel so refreshed about my profession. It is so nice to be around others who do the same thing I do and who are also enthusiastic about it. Now I am filled with so many ideas and am ready to try so many things that I learned.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
the mid 20's rut
I don't post often. Not because I don't want to but, because I don't feel like I have anything worthwhile to say. I wanted this blog to be a whining free zone. So, I try to now whine and complain like a high school student. I read lots of other blogs of people close to my age and not close to my age and am always amazed at the things they have to say, what is going on in their life, or how they seem to have a purpose for their writing. So, I looked at myself and thought? "You are smart. Why be boring? What is prompting this total lack of creativity and ability to discuss issues?"
I was stumped.
Then, today I was talking with a friend and she was expressing some of the same feelings that I have had.
Mainly:
Where did all my friends go? I used to have friends.
My life does not suck but, where is the life I thought I was giving myself.
Am I letting my future self down with the choices I am currently making?
We realized we have what we will call "the mid 20's rut".
We are out of college so, that period of self discovery and carefree, responsibility free is over.
We are not in our first year out in the world either. This makes going to work less exciting/terrifying. The idea of being a grown up and paying the bills has worn off too.
We are also not financially secure yet and struggling to pay all of the bills.
What we also saw is how many people we know are having children. Many of those people seemed to have a more interesting life as well. Is the first 18-20 years of someone's life what makes us interested? The growing up project is what I will call it.
People need big projects. Something they have to devout themselves to entirely. Something that consumes a majority of their life.
What if this point in our lives is where we are searching for our next big project?
We went to school for 18 years. That huge life project is now over
When you have a child, it is like the next big 18 year project.
Are we conditioned to be in that cycle of working on the enormous project that is growing up? Once you finish the project, you must do it again but as the coach rather than the player?
So, what about the time in between our growing up projects, the time between being player and coach.
We find another project. Some may throw themselves into work, a new hobby, or a new passion.
Others may just skip the interm projects and go right to the coach stage of the growing up project.
I am not saying I want to stop everything I am doing and have a child just so I can have my next 18 year project.
I need to find my new project. Be creative again. Less boring. Just because you are 24 and married does not mean you have to have children or have to be depressing and boring.
Suggestions are welcome.
I was stumped.
Then, today I was talking with a friend and she was expressing some of the same feelings that I have had.
Mainly:
Where did all my friends go? I used to have friends.
My life does not suck but, where is the life I thought I was giving myself.
Am I letting my future self down with the choices I am currently making?
We realized we have what we will call "the mid 20's rut".
We are out of college so, that period of self discovery and carefree, responsibility free is over.
We are not in our first year out in the world either. This makes going to work less exciting/terrifying. The idea of being a grown up and paying the bills has worn off too.
We are also not financially secure yet and struggling to pay all of the bills.
What we also saw is how many people we know are having children. Many of those people seemed to have a more interesting life as well. Is the first 18-20 years of someone's life what makes us interested? The growing up project is what I will call it.
People need big projects. Something they have to devout themselves to entirely. Something that consumes a majority of their life.
What if this point in our lives is where we are searching for our next big project?
We went to school for 18 years. That huge life project is now over
When you have a child, it is like the next big 18 year project.
Are we conditioned to be in that cycle of working on the enormous project that is growing up? Once you finish the project, you must do it again but as the coach rather than the player?
So, what about the time in between our growing up projects, the time between being player and coach.
We find another project. Some may throw themselves into work, a new hobby, or a new passion.
Others may just skip the interm projects and go right to the coach stage of the growing up project.
I am not saying I want to stop everything I am doing and have a child just so I can have my next 18 year project.
I need to find my new project. Be creative again. Less boring. Just because you are 24 and married does not mean you have to have children or have to be depressing and boring.
Suggestions are welcome.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Sitting here on the couch with a snoozing bulldog on my lap.
A nice boring day of being home and getting a few things accomplished around the house.
I finished a hat today and a pair of fingerless mittens. Someday, I will actually get my stuff on Etsy rather than just giving it all away. I think I have a yarn addiction. The craft stores should have my picture behind all the registers to tell them to not let me in near the end of the month so that I don't spend all the money on yarn. I did manage to take pictures of most of my projects before giving them for Christmas, Birthday, etc. and today I finally put the pictures on Flickr. I am slightly productive!
A nice boring day of being home and getting a few things accomplished around the house.
I finished a hat today and a pair of fingerless mittens. Someday, I will actually get my stuff on Etsy rather than just giving it all away. I think I have a yarn addiction. The craft stores should have my picture behind all the registers to tell them to not let me in near the end of the month so that I don't spend all the money on yarn. I did manage to take pictures of most of my projects before giving them for Christmas, Birthday, etc. and today I finally put the pictures on Flickr. I am slightly productive!
Monday, January 4, 2010
End of Break Blues
As the students will be back to school tomorrow, so will I be back to work. Technically, I was there today in teacher inservice meetings but that is not the same of real life, day to day teaching.
I have learned that teachers love school breaks more than the kids and loathe coming back almost as much. While, I love my job, love where I work, and lots of other things, it is a bittersweet to leave a vacation.
I have learned that teachers love school breaks more than the kids and loathe coming back almost as much. While, I love my job, love where I work, and lots of other things, it is a bittersweet to leave a vacation.
Friday, January 1, 2010
The past year in review
My best friend does this every year and I thought it might be a good experiment for me to try as well. So, thank you Sooze for getting me started and letting me steal.
Here goes:
1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?: Got married, moved out of my parents house and paid for almost all of my expenses.
2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Not really, I always make the usual eat better, work out more, etc. While I did do pretty well, it was not really a complete success of following them.
My next year's resolutions are:
1. get more financially stable.
2. continue to be more aware of what I am eating and where it comes from
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?:
A good friend had a little girl and I was blessed to be there the day after she was born
4. Did anyone close to you die?:
My dog, Rory
5. What countries did you visit?:
only the one that I inhabit
6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?:
less money woes
7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?:
July 11- Kyle and my wedding, August 30- the day we got Charlotte
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?:
Planning my wedding, moving to our apartment
9. What was your biggest failure?:
Money, my car and all of it's repairs
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?:
I hit my head when moving and ended up in the emergency room and got a head and neck CT scan. I'm ok.
11. What was the best thing you bought?:
things for my apartment
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?:
My family for putting up with my ups and downs. Kyle because he keeps me sane.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?:
Some of the people who make big decisions, the state legislature for messing up so much that all of the schools in the state are about to cut everything.
14. Where did most of your money go?:
Rent, gas, food, bills, wedding, my car
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?:
Getting Married, getting Charlotte
16. What song will always remind you of 2009?:
Look After You- The Fray, Tonight's gonna be a Good Night- Black eyed Peas
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? both
ii. thinner or fatter? About the same.
iii. richer or poorer? poorer.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?:
exercise
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?:
Procrastinating and spending money on a car that is not worth it
20. How will you spend Christmas?(how I spent it):
With my family and later Kyle's family
22. Did you fall in love in 2009?:
I continued to love the same person
23. How many one-night stands?:
Zero
24. What was your favorite TV program?:
Grey's Anatomy, Project Runway
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?:
No.
26. What was the best book you read?:
I kind of did not read much that was interesting but I have started "Animal, Vegetable Miracle" and am loving it.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?:
Getting into things that I already knew, just better and Hamsters can't play the piano and Whacky Spring Fever.
28. What did you want and get?:
A beautiful wedding, a bulldog, and starting my life with Kyle.
29. What did you want and not get?:
A house and a new car
30. What was your favorite film of this year?:
UP
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?:
I turned 24. My mom and I did our usual birthday shopping for new school outfits and we had Dinner with Kyle, Dad, and my Great Grandma at Plum Garden.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?:
More Money and Job security
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?:
Teacher casual
34. What kept you sane?:
Kyle, my mother, the dogs
34a. Okay, what kept you less crazy?
My friends who listen as well as the before mentioned
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?:
I envy Heidi Klum
36. What political issue stirred you the most?:
local politics and the idiots who know nothing about education who somehow end up being educational leaders (i.e. politicians)
37. Who did you miss?:
Friends who moved away
38. Who was the best new person you met?:
Some of the new teachers in my building and my florist.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
Things are going to happen if you like it or not, just enjoy that they are happening rather than being upset that you can't control them.
40. Quote a song lyric that describes the past year:
Always look on the bright side of life
Here goes:
1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?: Got married, moved out of my parents house and paid for almost all of my expenses.
2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Not really, I always make the usual eat better, work out more, etc. While I did do pretty well, it was not really a complete success of following them.
My next year's resolutions are:
1. get more financially stable.
2. continue to be more aware of what I am eating and where it comes from
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?:
A good friend had a little girl and I was blessed to be there the day after she was born
4. Did anyone close to you die?:
My dog, Rory
5. What countries did you visit?:
only the one that I inhabit
6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?:
less money woes
7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?:
July 11- Kyle and my wedding, August 30- the day we got Charlotte
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?:
Planning my wedding, moving to our apartment
9. What was your biggest failure?:
Money, my car and all of it's repairs
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?:
I hit my head when moving and ended up in the emergency room and got a head and neck CT scan. I'm ok.
11. What was the best thing you bought?:
things for my apartment
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?:
My family for putting up with my ups and downs. Kyle because he keeps me sane.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?:
Some of the people who make big decisions, the state legislature for messing up so much that all of the schools in the state are about to cut everything.
14. Where did most of your money go?:
Rent, gas, food, bills, wedding, my car
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?:
Getting Married, getting Charlotte
16. What song will always remind you of 2009?:
Look After You- The Fray, Tonight's gonna be a Good Night- Black eyed Peas
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? both
ii. thinner or fatter? About the same.
iii. richer or poorer? poorer.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?:
exercise
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?:
Procrastinating and spending money on a car that is not worth it
20. How will you spend Christmas?(how I spent it):
With my family and later Kyle's family
22. Did you fall in love in 2009?:
I continued to love the same person
23. How many one-night stands?:
Zero
24. What was your favorite TV program?:
Grey's Anatomy, Project Runway
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?:
No.
26. What was the best book you read?:
I kind of did not read much that was interesting but I have started "Animal, Vegetable Miracle" and am loving it.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?:
Getting into things that I already knew, just better and Hamsters can't play the piano and Whacky Spring Fever.
28. What did you want and get?:
A beautiful wedding, a bulldog, and starting my life with Kyle.
29. What did you want and not get?:
A house and a new car
30. What was your favorite film of this year?:
UP
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?:
I turned 24. My mom and I did our usual birthday shopping for new school outfits and we had Dinner with Kyle, Dad, and my Great Grandma at Plum Garden.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?:
More Money and Job security
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?:
Teacher casual
34. What kept you sane?:
Kyle, my mother, the dogs
34a. Okay, what kept you less crazy?
My friends who listen as well as the before mentioned
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?:
I envy Heidi Klum
36. What political issue stirred you the most?:
local politics and the idiots who know nothing about education who somehow end up being educational leaders (i.e. politicians)
37. Who did you miss?:
Friends who moved away
38. Who was the best new person you met?:
Some of the new teachers in my building and my florist.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
Things are going to happen if you like it or not, just enjoy that they are happening rather than being upset that you can't control them.
40. Quote a song lyric that describes the past year:
Always look on the bright side of life
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