The Marathon

Today was the Chicago marathon. I think I should be there, next year.

I have gotten more. And more comfortable with running and have signed up for several races in the last few weeks. 

My goal. 30 before 30. I have a little less than two years before my 30th birthday. Many people make a bucket list. I don't like the idea of a list. Of hugging sags before death. Life is too short to look to death daily. For me, this will be a "before I hit the big 3-0" challenge.

The list-part 1 of three

1. Run the Rock and Roll Half Marathon -already signed up

2. Run the Chicago marathon

3. Finish my masters

4. Leave the country -yes I have done this but I need to do it again

5. Make a significant donation to a charity I care about

6. Put on a recital

7. Road trip with my best friend
8. Save enough for a house down payment.
9. Volunteer
10. Buy coffee at Starbucks for the next five people behind me.  

Unsure

The constant battle in my mind.
Am I doing the right thing? Do I really understand what I am doing? I don't think I am smart enough to do this.
Forever I am unsure of who I am and what I am capable of. Always second guessing and waiting with fear that comes with being unsure.

Inner battles of letting something go and being spontaneous.
But wait, did I jump too early or speak too soon?

Hold on for a month while I think about what I might want to do, say, be.