please re-state your comment

I had a first grader use the word "ballsy" correctly in a sentence today. I made them say it for me a few times to make sure I heard it correctly.

Naughty

So, the kids have been kinda naughty lately. Especially today. So, one of my co-workers who is a paraprofessional in a class that comes to me suggested that we get an "Elf on the Shelf" and hide it in our rooms. She also suggested we be really careful about it since we are not supposed to be promoting any holiday really. i.e. not making a big deal out of Christmas since not every one celebrates or celebrates in the same way. I am really tempted to do buy one, hide it in my room, and then not say anything but see which kids notice.

I have a student who says not good things. Often out of frustration. Sometimes, things that are inappropriate come out even when they are behaving. Today we were listening to the Waltz of the Flowers from the Nutcracker and using a listening map to follow along with the music. There is a section with flower buds and blooms. We all say  "bud, bud, bud, BLOOM" while doing plies and standing on their toes. My inappropriate friend was doing everything right and not trying to be naughty but they were saying "bud light, bud light, bud light, BLOOM" I had a really hard time not laughing out loud for the rest of class. But, to them the word bud means bud light not flower bud.

Finding Joy

As difficult as at can feel at times, I make is a personal goal to always find some joy in every day. This usually includes me making light of something with a joke or my weird sense of humor. Today, my Great-Grandmother, mom, and I spent the afternoon together and had such a wonderful time. We discussed neat looking fabric and crafts we do and all sorts of things that make up happy. I could not have asked for a better day.
I look for joy at home all the time. It is why I tend to be creative there and relaxed. I need to remind myself to find joy at work as much as I find it at home. I love what I do but with the stresses of everything involved in teaching I forget to find the little moments that remind me why I do everything I do.
Work Joy:
I love that my first grade classes all have at least 5 children who give me a hug every time they see me.
Second grade classes that successfully can sing in a round and with voices that could rival the best children's choir.
Colleagues who listen and support me at work and personally.

Rock Out

Today I uttered:
It is a glockenspiel not a rockin'-spiel. Please play it gently.

Truths

• Special education students should not be treated like babies. 
• Little boys (and girls) know how to incorporate fart jokes at any time
• Many students possess an inability to lie or ignore that someone in the room farted and require immediate informing the teacher
•   I really do need to you be the student right now and you to let me be the teacher. No, I do not need an assistant at this moment. 
• Having a dance party with the class is always a good choice. You do have to dance with them by the way.
• Eat candy after you just had a class that wiped you out. instant fix. 
• No matter how good the day, teaching will wear you out.

Thankful Feathers

Many second grade teachers in my school have a giant paper turkey cut out that gets adorned with feathers decorated by students and then hung outside the classroom. Each feather is done at home and is supposed to be filled with all of the things the student is thankful for. The teacher always puts one together too. This year I looked at the one of the class across the hall from me and saw one that broke my heart. The feather was beautifully done and along with all the usual (food, my parents, siblings, xbox, my dog) it said my mom's doctor. This child is the youngest of their siblings and has a mother who is battling a debilitating and life ending disease. I feel sad just knowing what this student is reminded of daily. None the less, they are an amazing and bright student who is kind and sweet. I want to thank this doctor for giving a child more time, quality time, with their mother.

Maybe I should make my thankful feather an put it outside my room. I have much to be thankful for.

I tried on a pair of $100 jeans yesterday. The fit was amazing. They had sparkles on the tush pockets. Want. So. Bad. Can. Not. Afford. I am seriously considering making Kyle and eat ramen for the next month for these pants. They fit so well and seriously, appropriate sparkles on the tush? How cute is that. I will accept amazing jeans donations. I wear a size 8 or a 29 in these particular pair. I think the brand was "Miss Me." My sister bought a pair because they were amazing. You can find her and ask her.


Ugh. Jean envy.

Bad Day Killer

This week has been rough for me for many reasons unrelated to each other. I found the way to kill the rough day downs. One of my students has many needs and participates in their own way everyday. They love coming to music class so very much. Their enthusiasm to see me and come to my rooms makes me forget so much other crap. Seeing someone sign "Music, Music, Music, please, please, Music!" over and over makes me want to hug and love them so much.  Even though I have a pretty good idea that I really don't want to touch them (germs, a little slobber, boogers, bits of lunch). You haven't lived until you have a student who has so many needs is able to participate with their peers just the same as the rest of the class, with a huge smile, jumping and laughing, and enjoying what everyone else is without someone helping them through it. Today I went on a pirate adventure with my first grade classes. All of the kids went on this musical pirate adventure. Everyone sang. Everyone danced. Everyone acted silly and loud. Everyone had a good time.

Sometimes a night out at the CSO makes a crappy day better. I still want to ditch work tomorrow and go shoe shopping all day tomorrow though

I'm Despicable!

I'm Despicable!, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

I love Halloween so very much. I also love the movie Despicable Me so very much. Thus comes my costume this year. Ta-Da!

Friday Fill-in

1. How can I __get my hair to do what I want it to___?

2. __I am sitting on the couch with Charlotte ___ at the moment.

3. That summer, __I worked and went to school at the same time, remember that, yeah I do to and so does my BMI___.

4. __Charlotte wanted us to throw her tennis ball___ and we respected that.

5. What was __your name again___?

6. __Old friends and I need to___ stay in touch.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to __seeing Emily___, tomorrow my plans include __going to Allyson and Brian's wedding___ and Sunday, I want to __catch of on tv on hulu___!


I am in a blogging rut right now. So, here is a belated fill in to keep me a little honest.

oh man, not cool

This came from a co-worker so I may misquote it slightly. She will let me know and I will fix it if it is wrong.

We had a student report that another student tried to "kiss them like they were married" woops.

Dilemma

So, I have this fancy event to go to next weekend. It is really fancy and black tie. I have nothing to wear. Sure, I would love to buy a new dress but I don't think that is happening. I am also a major planner and have to figure this out in advance.So, let's try on some oldies. Here are the four options in my closet.

Remember:

• These were taken at night, after I have taught a whole day of school
• Not all of the correct underpinnings are being worn
• My hair takes on a Medusa-like state after work
• No makeup
• I will probably wear contacts

This was my college senior recital dress. It actually still fits. Kyle only took a front picture. The back is pretty plain. Pros: It fits and it is long. Cons: It is a little boring Questions: Is it too young?

 First picture was a little of an oops

The Front

The back

Pros: very cute Cons: not long, probably need a long dress for this shindig


Ok so this next picture was taken after wearing this dress to a wedding this summer and is on my flickr page but I did not feel like getting dressed again.

Pros; adorable and fits well Cons: too short

Ok, making a weird face here. The bow is removable as well.

Thoughts?

beep

My students go from my class to PE or from PE to my class. The PE teachers really worked the kids hard today. They were jogging. I had a first grader practically fall into my room and say "It was the tiredest day in gym today!" The next kid coming in then says "My heart is BEEPING sooooo hard!"

I had to go and "take attendance" because I could not laugh in the student's face.

loss

Today, everyone remembered 9/11. I did not. I remembered Nancy.
My step-grandmother passed last night and I miss her. I have not seen her in person since my wedding two years ago but, I joined in with my mom on Skype to chat with her and my grandfather on a fairly regular basis. Nancy and my grandfather married not long after I was born and she has been an enormous influence on my life. A strong business woman who stood for so many things. Woman's equality in the workplace being essential to her core.
Nancy suffered from corticobasal degeneration. This is a rare condition that looks like Parkinson's but does not respond to any treatment. It is a life ending neurological disorder. Your nerves atrophy and you cannot control your body.
I cannot write well or in a way that can truly explain losing Nancy to this horrible disease. I love you Nancy and miss you already.

It is very difficult to blink and count on a steady beat at the same time. Try it. Count to 8 and keep a steady beat by blinking. the numbers should be counted on beats. Not easy. I learned this today when singing a beat counting song with first graders and the kids get to decide what action we do to keep the beat. I have never been given the action of blinking before. A new challenge.

I also used rhythm sticks today with first graders. After getting his, one boy asked me "Are these REAL wood?" I say "yes" and then he responds with "WOAH!"

Strange Children

I have 8 classes of first graders I teach in my music classroom. Most act like typical beginning of the year first graders. Young, immature, and adorable. But, I have one class that has what appears to be no squirrels, no screwballs, and no one with a problem with music at the end of the day. In fact, I use a call and response to get the class' attention and this whole class responded on the first time I used it. I should preface this with, I had only seen this class once before and that once was over a week earlier. I told them I was so excited because they were the first class that all responded on the first try. They informed me that they had been practicing. So, I asked their teacher if she used this same call and response in her room (I have heard others using it) and she said no. Apparently, the kids had been practicing music procedures on the playground. I have an extremly well behaved and self motivated group of first graders on my hands. What a buncha weirdos. Don't they want to be silly with the rest of the 6 year olds? No, they would rather practice how to behave in music class. Love it.

I have 4 classes of first grade that are accompanied by small groups of students from self contained special education classes. Typically, other than some extra help occasionally, there is no difference between the participation of any student from either class. I have a student this year who is new to me who screamed all the way through music class number 1. In class number 2 we just sat and made gumpy faces. The teacher and para and I agreed that they were capable of participating in class without much modification and that I would just act as I would with any other student. The next day, they were sent to the time out chair for a short time. The message came through loud and clear, I am the teacher and you are the student and you will participate in class or stay in the time out chair. So, then the stars started. I gave a star for each class completed without tears. This works well with this student. Today after giving the star, I hear this little voice say "I gotta get outta here!" I was crushed. I thought this student was finally enjoying music class. So I tell their teacher and find out, they talk about going to music all day long and "I gotta get outta here!" is just this kid's way of saying "time to go." Thank goodness, I was really sad for a moment.

levels

How do you treat your friends? Are they all given the same amount of care and attention? Do you have an unspoken (possibly unconscious) tier system of friends? There is the best friend(s) who live at level 1 and you can count on for anything, trust with your life, and you communicate with on a regular basis. Then the levels go down from there. Level 2 friends might be those who you speak to a little less or are not as reliable. Maybe a level 3 friend is one that you only hang out with for a good time but don't really want to have at your house. Level 4 is made up of acquaintances from work who you talk to and leave it there.
What if you see a friend as a level 1or 2 and they see you as a 3 or 4?

I see my students struggle with making friends and dealing with acquaintances every day. They have their obvious levels of friends. Their level 1 is the kids you can't let go to the bathroom together or they will just play and talk and their level 2 friends who they play with on the playground and go to birthday parties. Their level 3 friends who they play on the playground with but would never ask mom or dad to have over after school. Level 4 is in your class and you might have to share a glue with them during craft time. Kids overtly show when they desire friends. Feelings get hurt and there are tears when a kid realizes they will never be someone's level 1.

How much of our adult social lives are influenced by our grade school abilities to make level 1 and 2 friends? How many top tier friends are needed to feel cared for or liked. What if we were always the level 3 of the friend chain but wanted to be a higher importance? Do we turn into motivated adults or into adults who strive for attention in the workplace?

I have like a bunch of those

Today, I had a class of second graders who sing like angels. It is beautiful. After I told the class that I thought they had beautiful singing voices, one of the girls says to me. "Well, I make up my own songs at home all the time and that is just one of my singing voices. I have like 14 singing voices."

Another one of those "I need to turn away right now before I laugh in the kid's face" moments because it was too funny to try and stone face or just smile.

It was 90 degrees today and the school is not air conditioned. I was sweating all day. First graders who come to my room at the end of the day were crying for no apparent reason. They were just done. One teacher told me to take it easy on her class because moments earlier there were 4 crying at the same time. It was not that they did not want to go to music, they just did not want to walk there. At bus calls,  little boy A started crying because I told little boy B that he was doing a good job waiting for his bus call. Little boy A was doing a good job, I just hadn't gotten to complimenting him yet. I love first graders but they are not fun when hot and sticky at 3pm.

The best parts of the day

Today was a pretty normal day except, the things that came from kids mouths got better as the day went on.

-We are singing a new warm up in class, the music came in the mail last week, this is the first class to sing this Student A: "My Friend taught me the words to this song last week!" Me: "Um, Not possible. I just got this in the mail last week and you are the first to sing it." Student A: "No, they taught me the words to it" Me: "Student A, this is a warm up song and the only words are da and ba. There are no words" this went on for another minute
-First grader- we are counting to 8 in a steady beat could not stop being so excited about counding he said 1-5 as fast and loud as possible and then waited and said 6,7,8 with the class
-getting punched in the lady parts by a student (not totally on purpose)
-students coming up behind me during bus calls and hugging my butt rather than walking around to the front side of me
-In Kohls- Boy with mother walking by the lingerie section "BRAS BRAS BRAS BRAS BRAS" as he went by and touched EVERY single one he could

Routines

I love how the my little universe can all be thinking of similar and related topics at the same time. More and more, I learn that my students crave consistency. I more and more believe that spontaneity is something people enjoy more as they age. This week of my music class is much about learning the procedures and routines of my class. I like to think of this as music class boot camp. By the end of the week, my students know my vocabulary and procedures so well that they start to remind me when I forget a step in our day. By the end of the year, they can almost run the class without me. In a twitter feed I see, there was much talk about classroom management. I just had a long discussion with a third grade classroom teacher about this. We talked about how being consistent in your actions and reactions leads to a calmer, quieter, and typically happier class.
Then by coincidence, a friend blogged about how she typically is not a fan of routine but how her child loves looking at the calendar and seeing what is going to happen.
I marveled at this simultaneous similarity in thought about how children and adults can be so different in their needs.

First week

The first week of school is tiring and grueling, full or tears and that is just the teachers, especially in first grade. I love the challenges of the first week. It brings out all of our sides.
I have heard the phrase "Is that a good choice?" a thousand times. I have heard teachers discussing outside the bathroom how to open and close the stall doors. This same teacher had to instruct her boys to know when they needed to use a urinal or the potty in a stall. I had a student in a combined class of regular ed and self contained special ed  scream for the whole 25 minutes of music class. One kid even came up to me and said "I like you" but I have no idea who this student is and if they are even one of mine or go to music with the other music teacher in the building. Best part of being the music teacher? Going into the lunch room and being treated like a rock star. Everyone knows who you are (you know a few faces) and they all want to talk to you or give you a hug.Also in the lunch room, one of our veteran teachers realized she taught a kid how to do jello shots on accident. The first grader had forgotten a spoon to eat their jello cup with. She then just taught him how to tip the cup and suck in out. She realized what she did later and laughed.
Most favorite moment of the week:
A little girl and a little boy (first graders) both had to use the bathroom so I sent them. The bathroom is next door and then one more past that depending on which gender you are. Both got lost and came back to the room asking for me to show them again, I did so with myself half in the classroom and half out pointing to the doors next to my classroom. The two of them looked at each other and both headed into the girl's bathroom. I guess they figured if they both went in, no one would get lost.

First days

Today was my first day back at school. Granted I have been back for two weeks setting up but, I never feel ready for students. Inservice day today and tomorrow is more inservice/supply drop off with real school starting on Wednesday. Every year I have the same panic of not being ready, is my room sufficient, too simulating, do I remember how to be a good teacher after some time of not thinking about students every day? Then the kids come and it all goes back into place and I am once again thrilled to do what I do. Teach.

A back to school inspired Friday Fill-Ins + status

1. It's fun to __buy new things for my classroom___.

2. __Someone is lying to you if they say that a cute bulletin board is ___ is easy to make.

3. I like to be __ready for my students___.

4. __How the kids find 40 year old pencils in my classroom___ I will never know!

5. Something I'm very much excited about __is trying my new seating arrangement___.

6. __Writing up that purchase order___ was well worth it.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to __recovering from possible food poisoning___, tomorrow my plans include ___helping out Grandma__ and Sunday, I want to __lay out all my clothes for the week and prepare for school to start___!

 Kyle and I went with friends to see the CSO play at Ravinia with the LOTR movie playing on a BIG screen. It was wonderful. I hope this happens again next year for movie number 2.
So, my classroom is nearly ready and I started the board outside my room. I am getting excited. I also got back a piece of technology that was taken away at the end of the year and I had been told would no longer be available for me to use. Unfortunately, I think that leftover chicken I had for lunch had been in the fridge for too long and I might not have nuked it  to a hot enough temperature. Thus, me thinking I have food poisoning and laying on my couch on a Friday night. UGH!

Workout

I took my husband to the gym last night.
I am used to exercising (it comes from a continuous struggle with my weight) and while I may not look like an exercise pro, I know what to do there. Well, my darling has never once in his life been to the gym. He also has not had PE since the 4th grade. This is due to his school letting you get out of PE if you were in band and choir or marching band and show choir in high school.
Needless to say, if you have never been on or seen someone using an elliptical machine, it is not so easy. Also, it just reinforces the fact that just because you are thin does not mean you are in shape/are healthy.
I hope he does not hate me for this and goes back later this week.

Friday Fill-Ins

Dear Blog, I am sorry I have neglected you. Here is a fill in to make you feel better.

1. The only question is _why must summer end?____.

2. __I wish I could set up my classroom___ in one day.

3. Three things on my desk: _papers, cds, sharpies____.

4. __Figure out where my class furniture is going___ is the one thing I HAVE to do today!

5. I love playing with __new instruments___.

6. _____ overwhelms the senses.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _____, tomorrow my plans include _____ and Sunday, I want to _____!

bugs

2 days of yard work means about 100 bug bites. Bites in places I did not know they could even get to. I did not spray my face with DEET so they bit my face. It looks like I have the worst case of acne ever. Must find a way to really keep the bugs off of me.

Repairing the self relationship

I have a new mantra. I am repairing the relationship I have with myself.
Why?
The relationships I have with others are not bad or a problem. My relationships did not make me put on a ton of weight, make me a workaholic, cause me to procrastinate. I realized that I was altering what I wanted to do and deciding to act in a manner I thought others in my life would prefer. First of all, how would I know what someone else would prefer me to do?
A week of vacation helped me see how much I work, even when I don't need to be working. Constant worry and stress is my downfall.
Time to keep myself honest to me. It is day 4 of this week of making sure I exercise my body. There is no reason to be overweight.
It is not selfish to want to be happy with who I am.

I do not have all the words that Matt Damon does. I get emotional and run out of coherent speaking when I think about my career, my choice to be a teacher, to be a fine arts teacher, that I am overwhelmingly upset when others speak to teachers being overpaid, lazy, stupid, etc. Thank you Matt Damon for standing up for teachers in the video I posted on facebook yesterday and then giving this speech that says what I needed to hear. 

“I flew overnight from Vancouver to be with you today. I landed in New York a few hours ago and caught a flight down here because I needed to tell you all in person that I think you’re awesome.
I was raised by a teacher. My mother is a professor of early childhood education. And from the time I went to kindergarten through my senior year in high school, I went to public schools. I wouldn’t trade that education and experience for anything.
I had incredible teachers. As I look at my life today, the things I value most about myself — my imagination, my love of acting, my passion for writing, my love of learning, my curiosity — all come from how I was parented and taught.
And none of these qualities that I’ve just mentioned — none of these qualities that I prize so deeply, that have brought me so much joy, that have brought me so much professional success — none of these qualities that make me who I am … can be tested.
I said before that I had incredible teachers. And that’s true. But it’s more than that. My teachers were EMPOWERED to teach me. Their time wasn’t taken up with a bunch of test prep — this silly drill and kill nonsense that any serious person knows doesn’t promote real learning. No, my teachers were free to approach me and every other kid in that classroom like an individual puzzle. They took so much care in figuring out who we were and how to best make the lessons resonate with each of us. They were empowered to unlock our potential. They were allowed to be teachers.
Now don’t get me wrong. I did have a brush with standardized tests at one point. I remember because my mom went to the principal’s office and said, ‘My kid ain’t taking that. It’s stupid, it won’t tell you anything and it’ll just make him nervous.’ That was in the ’70s when you could talk like that.
I shudder to think that these tests are being used today to control where funding goes.
I don’t know where I would be today if my teachers’ job security was based on how I performed on some standardized test. If their very survival as teachers was based on whether I actually fell in love with the process of learning but rather if I could fill in the right bubble on a test. If they had to spend most of their time desperately drilling us and less time encouraging creativity and original ideas; less time knowing who we were, seeing our strengths and helping us realize our talents.
I honestly don’t know where I’d be today if that was the type of education I had. I sure as hell wouldn’t be here. I do know that.
This has been a horrible decade for teachers. I can’t imagine how demoralized you must feel. But I came here today to deliver an important message to you: As I get older, I appreciate more and more the teachers that I had growing up. And I’m not alone. There are millions of people just like me.
So the next time you’re feeling down, or exhausted, or unappreciated, or at the end of your rope; the next time you turn on the TV and see yourself called “overpaid;” the next time you encounter some simple-minded, punitive policy that’s been driven into your life by some corporate reformer who has literally never taught anyone anything. … Please know that there are millions of us behind you. You have an army of regular people standing right behind you, and our appreciation for what you do is so deeply felt. We love you, we thank you and we will always have your back.” -Matt Damon


http://www.bostonherald.com/blogs/entertainment/the_assistant/?p=5865

Vacation

I have just returned from a five day vacation that Kyle and I dubbed our Belated Honeymoon. We put this off for two years because we didn't have the money or time before. So, I wanted to go to the beach. We settled on the coast of Lake Michigan and we could camp at a state park that had it's own beach. As usual, we always end our coming trips with a night's  stay in a hotel. We picked a historic inn in Harbor country that would be halfway between our campground and home.
Let's just say I am so glad we did this. I am more relaxed and ok with the world than ever. I am the perennial work-a-holic/overachiever/can't leave anything be-er. A week of forgetting everything go and shutting off my cell phone for the majority of a week was exactly what I needed. If you are like me, do yourself a favor and listen to others when they tell you that you need a vacation. I did. It was the best thing.
Thank you Kyle for 2 years of being married to me and taking me away on vacation the moment my last (for now) grad school paper was submitted. I Love you.

Common Myth

There is a myth that teachers get a summer off every year. This myth is very untrue. During the summer months, teachers take care of everything they neglected to do during the school year. Teachers very rarely spend time working on school related things only during contractual hours. There are those who come in early every day, stay late, or both. These neglected life items may involve:
1. Seeing a doctor- When you are a teacher, you have sick days except, you never want to use them, it is more trouble to call in, write adequate sub plans, see a doctor, and deal with the whole mess when you get back than to just come in sick. So, almost all doctor appointments are taken care of during the summer months.
2. Graduate school- Ever try to take a night class? Yeah, it usually sucks. Try to take a night class when you have grades due next week and a mountain of papers to take care of, all the while trying to feed your self/family and there is an open house this week?  Impossible. So, many of us educators take summer classes to get our continuing education accomplished. Remember, if you don't keep up with that, you can't re-new your certificate or advance to a different level of certificate. Also, I as a music teacher am only legally allowed to teach music. By getting another endorsement on my teaching certificate I will be allowed to teach other subject areas if my program was to be cut or if I wanted to change subject areas.
3. Vacation- Yes, this is summer vacation but, it is the only time we can take one. Because we have no school during the summer, we don't get vacation days during the school year. This may be part of why we get so ticked  off when parents take their kids out of school during the year for a vacation to a far off place. We can't make it up later.
4. Summer School- A glutton for punishment I guess. Many educators choose, and sometimes are required to teach summer school and those populations that would not thrive if they were to have several months of not being in school. If you know a special education teacher, please ask of you can make them dinner, clean their house, babysit their kids, anything to help out. These people are beyond exhausted.
5. Moving, family obligations, etc.- Remember that no vacation days thing? Yeah, all the tasks that people use those days for besides vacation must be accomplished in the summer.


So, next time you are about to tell a teacher that it must be great to have the summer off, stop talking and remember that they are just trying to catch up with the rest of their life. We have missed a lot during the school year.

Uh Oh

So, I somehow managed to misplace my flash drive with all of the work I have done for grad school on it. This  could be very bad. I have 10 more assignments to submit and all of those assignments have been started and saved on that flash drive. I really don't want to re-do all of that work.

So close and yet so far

I have three days left of my coursework for the summer. But, I also have what feels like a million assignments left to do. I was going so strong but this week I have hit a total plateau of energy, resilience, motivation, and creativity. I am getting close to the burn out place. This cannot happen. Granted I have had a few personal set backs (dead car, no power at home, dead computer, no internet) but, I need to muster up the energy and excitement I had a month ago.

I can do this. I am smart enough. I cannot let old habits get the best of me.

I am in a sit com where everyone is laughing very hard at me.

Today was rough. It was Kyle and my anniversary. But, we were apart because I had class. This morning, Kyle was home and I was in Bloomington heading to class in Lincoln. There were major storms at home and our power got knocked out. Kyle along with 800,000 other people now have to figure out what to do. It is a mess.

Then we get to this afternoon, my car is making a weird noise. Ok, so I pull over once I get to Blo-No, can't tell about anything, get back in the car. No sound, yay! Stop at my first errand and they don't have what I need, so I get in my car, turn it on, no power steering. Dang. But, there is a Wal-Mart next door with an auto center, I stop in, they look, no my steering fluid is fine, but, the tension thing that holds the belt on has MELTED OFF! I now have to get a tow truck to take my car somewhere. There was only one place in all of Bloomington open. I am calling everyone I know. No one is answering. My phone is also dying, I go into walmart and buy a phone charger because I did not have one with me. Finally I get a hold of Kyle, he knows what is going on, he calls family tries to figure out help. I am a mess. Tow truck comes an hour later and I still can't get a hold of anyone to come get me from the repair shop.While in the tow truck, I find out about 2 major tragedies that just happened in the town I am in. Not a good day all around I guess. Still no answer from anyone if they can get me. I now also have talked to my MIL who is willing to drive several hours to get me and take me back to her home. What do I do? Hmm, facebook on my phone? That worked except I now have to deal with the repair guys. They can't look at my car until the morning. I still can't get in touch with my friend (turns out cell signals were iffy everywhere today) I get a ride from a from Kyle's buddy back to where I need to go. Now, I have to get a rental. No one has cars. In all 7 rental companies. We finally find one, drive out there and my card is declined. They also wont take my debit card because they need to hold a crap ton extra on it and I don't have a crap ton extra. I am stuck. Luckilly, my girl friend comes to the rescue and there is a car to rent.

In the end, I am safe ad will survive another day. I hope. My car had a piece melt off today from the 115 degree heat index. What else crazy can happen?

one more

I have one more day left of my second class of the summer. I am starting to see that I will in fact get through this class and can do the work. I still have a lot to do but it will happen!

Brain Melt

Have you ever had a time that you worked on a project for so long that all of the parts look the same? I am there right now. Of the 13 assignments I have for my first class (remember this is grad school-the speed version) 7 are case studies on a fictional student and how we would work with their disabilities. I just submitted my 5th assignment and second case study. This assignment took me longer to finish than the other 4 so far. At one point, I went shopping just to leave my house. I did not purchase anything because school has already wiped my bank account. I just needed out and away from a computer screen for a few hours. I am really afraid that the last few case studies might not be so well thought out.

Grateful

I am grateful to work with people who care about their students. I am grateful to work with special educators who don't rely on the fact that their students can wait in their wheelchairs while they check their phones.
For three days, I observed a summer school special education class in a town a little less than two hours away from home. The class I was assigned to was taught by a very nice, seasoned teacher who was great to work with albeit being a little scattered at times. The children I worked with definitely needed special education services but were not severe or profound in their disabilities. Three paraprofessionals were also in the class with us and it made for a very supportive and comfortable learning environment.
Our classroom adjoined another special education classroom, but of children who had severe and profound disabilities. The wall to the other classroom was always open so that both classes could use materials from each side. It was through observation of the other classroom where I witnessed some of the most ineffective teaching I have ever witnessed. Both the paras and the teacher regularly checked their cell phones and personal email during the 4 hours we were with the students. There was a general lack of structure and care in the daily plan of lessons and activities. Because that wall was open, I could hear every thing that went on. Hollering at students does not work. Hollering over and over again at a student who is severely developmentally delayed does even less.  I am so grateful for the people I work with who are so much better for their students.They are creative, positive, and constantly showing the care they have for children with disabilities. I realize that being a teacher or aide for this population is tough and can burn you out. Regardless, the students require the best. I have noticed that often times we will let out educators with lesser skills be the teachers to students with lesser skills. I have a major problem with this.

Being Positive is Hard

There are times when it is hard to be positive. It can be really hard to be positive when you are broke. For me, it usually starts with an unfortunate event. Mostly, a superficial, not all that important event. Like not being able to get a new laptop for grad school to replace the 6 year old, dying one that I am currently typing on. 
When I look around and it seems like all of my old friends are moving into new and happy chapters of their lives. They are getting married, buying houses, having babies, going on vacations, making a whole lot more money than you are, engrossed in a field that takes them to places a music teacher could not imagine.
Ok, I am a little obsessed with the money thing. It comes from supporting two adults off one public school teacher's salary. Yes, I did choose my own path. Yes, I am aware that I could have made different decisions. Hindsight is 20/20.
It is very easy to slip into depression about all of the things that I don't have or am not experiencing right now. It is easy to think "When is the fun stuff going to be in my life?" or "When will it be my turn to not try so hard all the time?" If I mention one of these things to someone they may respond with "But you got married and had a beautiful wedding. You had a turn and now they are taking theirs!" I want to punch them in the face and remind them that part of the reason I am in crazy amounts of debt was that beautiful wedding and causing Kyle to relocate and be unemployed for about a year. I am tired of phone calls and fixing things. Tired of being so broke that I have to work two jobs to keep from starving. I am tired of not being able to replace broken or out of date things. I am tired of asking for help.
Don't tell me how it was smart to still be renting and how I can just get out when I want to. I want my own home that I can paint, garden, customize, and not care if the dog poop doesn't get picked up immediately. Don't tell me how I have so much more freedom because we are waiting to start a family. It does not make it easier when ANOTHER person I used to call a friend no longer talks to me because I am not part of the mommy crowd. You never realize how much friendships change when you don't go through the same life stages together. 

Now comes the hard work. Remembering my own positives.
I have a husband who loves me. Sure we are poor, but we are poor together. Hopefully, soon Kyle will be full time at his job. They like him there. I have a family that cares about how I am doing. We are in a better place than we were a year ago. There is a plan to how we will move forward. I have started a graduate school program that will give me some job security. Sure, my school is not going to pay me more this year for having another endorsement but, I still have my job. I can just find a dog sitter and take a weekend vacation if the bank account says so.  My dog is still crazy but, oh well she can't help it.

How do you remember you positives? How do you remind yourself that when you see someone else's life as cushier/better than yours that they have their ow struggles?

6-14-11

6-14-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

I had 4 chapters of reading to do from this book today. So much reading.

6-13-11

6-13-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

Driving to my first grad school class! I am taking classes through Greenville College but taught at Lincoln Christian University to finish an entire special education endorsement.

6-12-11

6-12-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

The Fairy Godmother has arrived at the Barn Nursery for the Petals and Pixie dust fairy gardening event.

Friday Fill-in

1. One of my favorite birthday presents was _several seasons of NCIS____.

2. __Just breathe ___, it was as simple as that.

3. The moon __is very bumpy___.

4. __Delicious food___ includes __butter___.

5. I was tempted by __ice cream and cookies last night___.

6. __Swimming, going to the beach, and reading___ are some of the things I like to do on vacation.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to __driving home___, tomorrow my plans include __working at the barn and finishing research___ and Sunday, I want to __submit at least one more assignment to livetext___!



So, I have been a little quiet lately because I have been doing an intensive summer program where I am completing my entire LBS1 endorsement (special education) in six weeks. Essentially, it is 1/3 of a masters program crammed into 6 weeks. I have 3 weeks on campus of all day intense learning and then a week in the field and a few weeks of online research and assignment submission. It is kicking my butt but, I am so glad I chose to do it this way.

6-11-11

6-11-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

The beginnings of my fairy godmother costume for work tomorrow.

6-10-11

6-10-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

Clean Kitchen!!!
This never happens.

6-9-11

6-9-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

School's out for SUMMER! A summer drink for the first day of my summer.

6-8-11

6-8-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

At the all school assembly, the first grade sang while I played uke to the Library Song. Adorable.

6-7-11

6-7-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

My students love this book and we made our own verses to the song based on what we were wearing that day. I love first grade spelling and writing. Gray pants were turned into gay pants and a white dress was a white brest.

End of the school year celebration.

Everyone celebrates in different ways. Because my school year just ended, I have a nice break from work. Ok, 1 day. I work on the weekends at the garden center still and am taking classes starting next week. But, I am rally enjoying this day off. It has been a while since I had an ENTIRE day to myself and doing whatever I want.
Truly, I don't like being by myself and not working. One day is good for me. I feel accomplished and relaxed...and I don't feel like a total slacker for not working more than one day.

Because today is devoted to stuff I need to get done and want to do, I have gone to the bank, gone shopping for new bedsheets (There was an unfortunate incident with the ones I already had and some benzoyl peroxide acne stuff. That stuff should not be applied before sleeping), went grocery shopping, and made myself a lunch of naan, hummus, and guacamole. I could probably live on that stuff. 
This afternoon, Charlotte and I have a date with the groomer. She needs a pedi-pedi.

Friday Fill-in

This Friday Fill-in is inspired by today being the last day of school!

1. I remember when I first heard __a beginning band play together for the first time. It sounds like car horns___.

2. __There was so much rain today it was___ showering down __when the kids arrived for their last day of school for the year___.

3. Most humans __don't get as many hugs in a lifetime as I got today___.

4. __Is this a good choice or a bad choice___...sound familiar?

5. I was inspired by _a student who made it through the whole year despite having brain cancer____.

6. __Where I left those confiscated silly bands and Pokemon cards,___ who knows where!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to __sleeping in___, tomorrow my plans include __working at the barn and reading for classes___ and Sunday, I want to __be the fairy godmother (for real)___!

6-6-11

6-6-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

Kyle brought this home last night. His grandmother made it for us. I am in love with it.

6-5-11

6-5-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

Charlotte is mad that we put her on a diet. She is barking at the food bowl.

6-4-11

6-4-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

A hot, hot day makes for a very long day at the garden center.

6-3-11

6-3-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

Kyle was singing in a concert and I went to see it today. I love how he is the only one in focus in this picture.

6-2-11

6-2-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

Terry, our school librarian is retiring and Judi, our Math specialist presented her with her quilt today. Terry told us she was waiting for this moment all year.

6-1-11

6-1-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

I spent 2 hours looking in every store of Gurnee Mills to find a black, short sleeved, button down shirt for Kyle. This was what I kept finding everywhere. I found something in the end but it took a whole lot of looking.

5-31-11

5-31-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

The best way to end a day (and May) is the last cupcake from a student's birthday cupcake-cake. It was really hot too. Hence the excess frosting and melted appearance.

5-30-11

5-30-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

Pizza Night!

5-29-11

5-29-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

Uncle Dave's birthday party at his house. My mom is behind the stove and was given this apron to wear. Take it as a compliment.

5-28-11

5-28-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

A day at the garden center leaves me staring at these all day.

5-27-11

5-27-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

Please guess what the answers say. When I was grading these, it was a challenge at times.

5-26-11

5-26-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

Trying to take a picture of reading to the dog is not an easy task.

5-25-11

5-25-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

We had some nasty storms today.

5-24-11

5-24-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

We ran out of dog food and Charlotte's expensive food is only available at a specialty shop that closed at 5. We realized this at 4:45 and the shop is 15 minutes away. So, we caved and got her a few cans of food. That stuff smells so nasty to us but to her it is a giant ice cream sundae.

tan or dirt

When you work at a garden center on the weekends to supplement your teaching salary you become a very tired person when you get home. Today I came home and thought I might have gotten a little bit of a tan. This is ridiculous because I am very fair and red headed. I think it may just be a fine layer of dirt. Only a shower will tell the truth.

Light at the end of the tunnel

There are only 4 more days of school left. I have to remind myself this when I am exhausted from my current working schedule. (Teach during the week and work at the garden center all weekend) On Friday, I can do whatever I want to. As long as my classroom is cleaned out before then. Then come next Monday, I start my 6 week adventure of being a student again. After those 6 weeks, all I will need to take is a test and I will have an additional endorsement on my teaching certificate. The one that I just renewed for another year because I need one more year on it before it becomes a standard certificate instead of the kind they give to new teachers.

The next 4 days will still be grueling. C'mon, everyone remembers how crazy you were just before school let out for summer. Typically sweet and mild mannered children become screaming banshees in the hallway. The ones who were tough to begin with, out of control. I hope their parents are ready for them.

I also got my first end of the year thank you from a student last week. Being the music teacher, I don't get many. While the classroom teachers walk out with boxes of thank yous or had a room parent organize one big gift, us specials teachers are excited by the few hand made cards from select students and the occasional gift card to Target. It is usually the student who has been quiet all year and no trouble so you forget their name. Maybe because you never drew attention to them is why they thank you. Or that they are a nice student because they have nice parents who teach them how to act and to thank their teachers. I also notice that some of the most difficult students bring gifts. Maybe that is is an apology from their parents for their behavior and all the new gray hairs you just acquired. Either way, I will get through the last 4 days of school and love each one of the small tokens of appreciation from my students. Then, I will miss them all a week and a half after being out for the summer.

Kyle is singing at a concert tonight in our old neighborhood. I miss it here. I don't miss the commute.

Friday Fill-in

1. Hey! __Stop asking me to use the bathroom during my class___.

2. __I am looking for one___ kernel of truth.

3. Eat __more veggies___.

4. __Don't try to start a skein of yarn___ in the middle.

5. First thing to note: __school gets out in 6 more days. The teachers need it more than the kids___.

6. __A pedicure is a nice___ distraction.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to __hearing Kyle's concert___, tomorrow my plans include ___work at the garden center__ and Sunday, I want to ___get off work early to see Kyle's family at the concert__!

My grades are due tomorrow. I am still grading second grade instrument quizzes. They take forever.
My head is about to explode. So many numbers.

Friday Fill-in

1. This week I __did not stay at work past 5pm___.

2. __Eventually, the summer___ returns.

3. It's all about __my dog___.

4. __I can't wait to be out ___ in the sun.

5. I demand __strawberry whole fruit bars___.

6. __Watch the___ path, it's filled with __dog doo___.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to __staying in___, tomorrow my plans include __work at the barn___ and Sunday, I want to _go to Stas' first birthday____!

I have a crease in my forehead from the large amount of grumpy faces I made at my students today.

wrongly accused

*Let me preface this with, I don't dislike the police. I admire the hard work they do and don't think it is an easy job for meatheads. I could not do their job.*

Monday morning I was pulled over in front of a school near the one I work at. The officer informed me this was because I was talking on my cell phone in a school zone. Here's the thing. I was not on my phone. I hadn't had a single call or text all day actually. He then told me I was a liar. I handed him my phone and told him that he could check the phone records. He said that was not necessary because he saw my hand at my ear. Then he proceeded to question me about the hanging basket or petunias in the back of my car. They were for a friend at work. Then he asked me about where I was going and what I did there. I told him and what I taught at the school. Now, I am so upset about being accused for doing something I did not do, being questioned for the messy back seat of my car and it's contents, and also he was not thrilled that I pulled 2 insurance cards out of the glove box (one expires in a week so I had the new one already in the car.) I am practically in tears, begging him to believe me and, it is not even 8am. Then he made more grumpy looks at me and gave me a warning.
I am a little confused, why would I get a warning for not talking on my cell phone? Are you too pompous to admit you were mistaken? (maybe I was scratching my head or singing in the car?)
And why did he care about the petunia basket in my back seat? Are petunias the new street drug?
Last, why would someone need to be so grumpy at 8am?

5-23-11

5-23-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

Beef! It's what's for dinner, and along with some noodles and home made sauce it is even better.

5-22-11

5-22-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

Charlotte crashed into my BIL in the back of the car. She was really happy to have him as her pillow.

5-21-11

5-21-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

Spent the day working at the garden center and brought these home for a co-worker. I think they are pretty nice.

5-20-11

5-20-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

The beautiful flowers that Kyle sent me for my concerts. They came totally closed up and opened up completely today. So nice to have the cheer, especially because the weather has been crummy.

5-19-11

5-19-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

Team AWESOME after the 4th third grade concert in 2 days. Yeah, we are that cool. We teach music.

5-18-11

5-18-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

Concert day number 1. The backgrounds are can can dancers painted by the kids to look like the Loutrec paintings.

5-17-11

5-17-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

This was AWESOME!

5-16-11

5-16-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

Set up day for the third grade concerts. This took my counter part and I all day to set up.

5-15-11

5-15-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

This is what happens when there is a threat of freezing temps overnight in mid May. So, we started pulling all of the stuff that could get snapped inside of the garden center store.

5-14-11

5-14-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

Ugly Duckling-Once Upon a Symphony at the CSO today. Yo-Yo Ma was playing the role of the ugly duckling. Such a fun show and I am so glad I got to be a part of it.

5-13-11

5-13-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

One of the hats I made for a co-worker's baby shower. I really liked this one!

5-12-11

5-12-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

This same shot was taken a few months back in February. Such a change from then to now.

5-11-11

5-11-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

This nasty thing was in my utility sink this evening. Kyle and I were both afraid of it. We trapped it under a plunger and left it there.

5-10-11

5-10-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

I was very itchy today and the only thing that makes me feel better is stinky oatmeal bath.
I was allergic to bubble bath as a kid, so I always got this instead. Not even close to bubble bath.

and then I couldn't stop laughing

Today at the garden center I work part time at a sweet looking, older lady came in. I later ran into her heading to the bathroom in our office building. She was very quickly closing the bathroom door and looked worried. "Somebody was already in there!" she said.
"Ok" I said
"It smells like shit in here!" says the old lady
"It is just our water. It contains a lot of sulpher" a co worker says
*I run to the other part of the office to not laugh in the old lady's face

You are never expecting a nice, old lady to yell out "It smells like shit in here!"

Doh!

Don't you just love it when you get home, put on the comfy clothes, start dinner, and then realize that there is a really important errand you have to do still?

Friday Fill-in

1. I see __a sleepy puppy___.

2. __I like to make cupcakes from___ scratch.

3. They begin __tearing up the last intact road around my work on Monday___.

4. __This road construction should have been done___ so many years earlier.

5. This I know: __My third grade concerts are over___.

6. __I had sushi___ for dinner.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to ___visiting Kyle's family__, tomorrow my plans include __work at the Barn___ and Sunday, I want to __relax___!

The mouths of babes.

3rd grade Student: I am so nervous about this whole riser business.
Me: Don't worry student, you will be fine.
Student: What if I fall off?
Me: You wont.
Student: If I fall off, I am suing the school for damages.
Me: I don't think that will be necessary.
Student: I am suing the school if I fall. Can I sue the school?
Me: I am sure you could bu I don't think you will win. You are in the row that is standing on the floor.

My third graders are performing this week. Two concerts were today and two concerts are tomorrow. They are adorable and I have trained them well they have worked so hard have worked so hard. I have to say, this is my favorite program I have put on so far. The kids have worked hard and the songs fit together quite nicely. I wish I could post pictures and videos on here but, I can't. Gotta protect my kids.

Yesterday, a student told me that my classroom smelled like a gerbil cage.

Friday Fill-in

1. I know __how to teach a six year old what a singing voice sounds like_.

2. _I would like to take a Costa Rican vacation____ if at all possible.

3. This weather has been great for __messing with my sinuses___.

4. ___Let's solve__ a problem.

5. I'm really happy I have the ability to __snuggle with Charlotte tonight___.

6. __Third grade concerts are tiring ___, or something to that effect.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to ___seeing the family concert__, tomorrow my plans include __going to Symphony center really early___ and Sunday, I want to __have an easy day at the barn___!

5-9-11

5-9-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

My tulips are blooming!

5-8-11

5-8-11, a photo by musicgirl816 on Flickr.

Happy Mother's Day! For the 9th year in a row, I spent Mother's Day at the garden center. Helping other people buy things for their moms. Some little one lost these sunglasses. My co-workers and I decided that on the big fairy statue was the best place.