The Marathon

Today was the Chicago marathon. I think I should be there, next year.

I have gotten more. And more comfortable with running and have signed up for several races in the last few weeks. 

My goal. 30 before 30. I have a little less than two years before my 30th birthday. Many people make a bucket list. I don't like the idea of a list. Of hugging sags before death. Life is too short to look to death daily. For me, this will be a "before I hit the big 3-0" challenge.

The list-part 1 of three

1. Run the Rock and Roll Half Marathon -already signed up

2. Run the Chicago marathon

3. Finish my masters

4. Leave the country -yes I have done this but I need to do it again

5. Make a significant donation to a charity I care about

6. Put on a recital

7. Road trip with my best friend
8. Save enough for a house down payment.
9. Volunteer
10. Buy coffee at Starbucks for the next five people behind me.  

Unsure

The constant battle in my mind.
Am I doing the right thing? Do I really understand what I am doing? I don't think I am smart enough to do this.
Forever I am unsure of who I am and what I am capable of. Always second guessing and waiting with fear that comes with being unsure.

Inner battles of letting something go and being spontaneous.
But wait, did I jump too early or speak too soon?

Hold on for a month while I think about what I might want to do, say, be.

Bajillion Degrees and strippers

Today was hot, very hot. 101 heat index hot. My students melted into the floor while we attempted learning.

I had one student tell me to "have a nice weekend" as they left my class. Yup. It is only Tuesday. They must not want to come back until it cools off

I also overheard two third grade boys asking each other if they knew what a stripper was. I am guessing and hoping it is because someone at home was discussing the recent Miley Cyrus performance on the VMAs. 

A car!

I bought a new car today. So now DH and I each have our own again. We trie just one for almost a whole year and it worked well. We live in the downtown area of our community and he took the train every day. I commute about 30 miles each way so we had to have one. Then DH lost his job, so he used grandma's the. We sold grandma's has guzzler.
It is hat to get a job without a car in our suburban area. Thus the need for being back to two cars. I am pretty pleased with our purchase. Bought for less than we were planning and I think it is just the right car for us.

Thanks, Gram

Grandma was always smiling.
 Her whole life was loving us, her children and grandchildren. Plus a few more who got lumped into that group regardless who genetics.
Generous and kind. Not a afraid to speak her thoughts.
You always felt loved in her presence.
Are you getting good grades in school? Yes? Here are a few dollars. No? I will hire a tutor.
What do you want? It magically appears.
There are no wants when Grandma is around, she already got them for you.
When Grandma needs your help, you get a squeeze, a kiss, and "Thanks, Love"
Being around her is enough of a reward.
"Have you thought about this option?"
She has an opinion about everything. She knows what she likes. She knows how to make it happen.
We talk about my life, my dreams, my wants.
She smiles and tells me how she would do things.
I am the one with red hair like hers. This gives me and my sister something special with her.
I am perpetually trying to make her proud. She doesn't always tell me but I know, she is.
I have a lot to look up to. A lot to live up to.
Thanks, Love
Katie

Grandma, Me, My Dad -Summer on the Patio 2012

Weekly Photo Challenge: Change

What a great photo challenge to start with as I try to post more regularly again.

I recently was in Arizona. Specifically Sedona for the majority of my week there. In Sedona, it feels like no matter how much I change, it stays the same. The rocks are still red and beautiful. The growth is so slow you don't notice much in the plants from year to year. It continues to be my respite from being a young adult in a busy world.

Catch all

It has been a busy few weeks. An emotional few weeks as well. As I type, I am sitting on a cross country train with Kyle coming home from a week away.

We had this trip planned in January and thank goodness for it. We needed a week in Sedona with my grandpa to relax and recharge.

What did we need to get away from?
Work, life stress, the house.

Kyle and I live upstairs from my grandma and she passed close to three weeks ago. With everything we are used to having her in it, life felt unstable and uneasy.
We moved in about a year ago because it is what she needed. To be not alone and to have us there for everyday tasks. I might have grumbled here and there about the things she asked of us but, I truly loved my grandma. She was there nearly every step of my growing up. I felt a responsibility to care for her as she did for me.
So now the house is empty. We are still upstairs. The family who came for her services and to remember the amazing lady we knew have all gone home.
So, Kyle and I went in our vacation. We got away before keeping on with our lives, minus grandma.

Sedona
There is always Sedona to get you back to peaceful. I am truly lucky to have my grandfather living there. You come into the beautiful red rocks and into his lovely home. You are surrounded by love, scenery, and food.
Every morning I would sit with him in the library and talk while we watched the sunrise. During the day you see beautiful things and nature. At night we cooked and ate special dinners.